Cesare and a Lady
by Simplicitiy
Summary: Even though Cesare Borgia was married, he had several mistresses. What if he admired one more than he cared to admit? His charm was not enough to keep the name Ezio Auditore da Firenze out of Louise, a simple French nurse's head, for now he is the mysterious stranger she always thinks about...
1. Chapter 1

"I failed again," Cesare said as he slumped into his seat behind his desk.

"Don't worry, dearest. I am sure next time will be better..." I replied doubtfully.

The truth was he would fail next time, and the time after that, and the time after that. Cesare Borgia was a strong and capable man, but the mysterious hooded man who wrecked havoc on my beloved's plans was stronger and more capable. He was the only thing people spoke about in Roma anymore. The streets of the city were flooded with his name: Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

I admit, even I was interested about the man in the hood. Some nights I would walk in the streets to try and see if he would appear out of nowhere, but he never came. Spotting him was a rare event, he was like a shadow and a ghost. I've wanted to ask Cesare what he looked like, and how he behaved, but the fear of angering him made me hold my tongue.

Cesare was ill tempered. One slight irritation and he would do a lot of damage. I was always complimented on the way I could keep him calm and out of harm's way by every person who saw us together- except for one jealous pretty girl whose name will be said only in whispers.

This girl- or rather, lady- was Cesare's sister, the beautiful Lucrezia Borgia. She had many romantic relations- one of them being her very own sibling. The pope, Rodrigo Borgia, never cared much about his children's affairs, but when the incest became public he demanded that the two end the romance and to "seek redemption for their sins".

I was Cesare's redemption. He was married to a rich noblewoman and the sister to the King of Navarre and I was his wife's nurse. His wife was completely ignorant to his crimes of incest, but I knew better. I wanted to keep my mistress safe from heartbreak so I boldly requested to speak to the Captain General himself.

He claimed that from the moment he saw me he realized the errors of his past relationships. He saw his "redemption in a pale blue dress" and asked me to forgive him for his horrendous acts. It was not my place to forgive him but he insisted on my acceptance to his apology. When I blindly forgave him he took me away from France and brought me here, to Roma. Now that I look back on it, I am glad I went with him to Italia. My mistress was cruel and he was much kinder in his manner to me, and as hard as it is to believe, I slowly fell in love with the notorious son of the pope, and knowing Cesare, he began to fall out of love.

Lucrezia disliked me ever since. Cesare ignored her and gave her empty promises of being a queen and laughed behind her back. I pitied her for a while, until I realized that soon I would be just like her- another past lover Cesare no longer wanted. I wondered why he kept me as long as he did, every day I waited for him to tell me to leave and never return, but instead he would ask me about my day without caring about the answer and then go to his study. My days, though I lied and said were spent buying new dresses and lace, were actually spent daydreaming about Ezio Auditore, and like a little girl who wished to one day spot a flying horse, I roamed the streets in search of him and returning home disappointed at my search.

"One more war weapon destroyed," he roared as he jumped out of his seat.

"Dear, you still have two left!" I said encouragingly.

"You do not understand, mi amore, it is like your legs. If I cut one off you cannot say "Dear, you still have one left!", because with one leg you are as lame as having no legs," he explained. He was pacing around the room with a weary look on his face.

With no words of encouragement to give him, I decided I would leave him alone. As I walked towards the door, he stopped me.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To eat supper, will you join me?" I lied, knowing he would not eat.

He shook his head, "No, I am not hungry. Won't you eat here? I can get the servant to bring the tray into the room."

"I am afraid you would rather be alone, dearest."

He narrowed his eyes and said, "If _you_ want to be alone, then say so, you wicked whore! Leave me."

If our love was first in bloom I would have run to him and kneeled on the floor and ask for forgiveness, but it wasn't precious and new anymore, so I left the room without another word, knowing his anger would disintegrate sooner or later.

On the dining table beside my food was a letter that was sent for me in a mysterious paper. I almost fainted when I looked to see what was written and in my haste to make sure Cesare never saw the letter, I threw it in the fire and watched the name I admired so greatly burn in the flames.


	2. Chapter 2

I prayed that the contents would not escape my memory, for I would have thought it to be a dream without any proof- a rapturous dream where Ezio Auditore da Firenze wrote me a letter.

I pushed the tray of food away and accidently dropped it loudly on the floor. My heart began pounding and my head told me I was a fool for looking so suspiciously guilty.

I kneeled to pick up the broken glass and scoop up the spoiled food into the tray. When I looked up I saw a dark red robe and as I raised my head I realized the man wearing the robe was Rodrigo Borgia.

"Holy Father, may I help you?" I asked, my cheeks red with embarrassment.

"Child, do stand up. It is improper for a lady like yourself to clean; I shall fetch a servant," he replied.

"It is all right, truly. I was not born a lady; my habits and nature are stricken with poverty."

"Habits," he began, walking around the dining table with his hands held behind his back, "Can lead you to the devil's doorsteps. It is better to change your nature rather than accuse the horrid personality you have for habits—you, my child, are not wicked and cruel. The devil has no intentions for you, unless you allow him to do such."

I was confused as to what he wanted me to do, so against my better judgment, I stood up and left the tray on the floor.

"I am not sure what you mean, Father," I admitted.

He stopped by the fire and without removing his gaze from the flames said to me, "Secrets lead you to the devil. By keeping secrets you allow the devil to take your hand and guide you to hell…"

I felt faint. He knew about the letter, but did he know who had written it? I remained silent.

"Louise, I know about the note by your dinner tray. I only kept it closed out of respect for a woman's privacy, but when you burn things it shows a sign of something worse than a mere need for privacy. Confess to your Father, and tell me what the contents were."

_You play with Cesare's head but not his heart. Do not be fooled and think he loves you; he cares for no one but himself. If you wish to meet me you do not need to walk the dangerous streets alone, merely come to the Rosa in Fiore._

_ Sincerely yours, Ezio Auditore da Firenze_

Such were the contents of the letter, but I would have rather burned along side it in the fire than to tell Rodrigo. Excuses danced around my head until I thought of one befitting of the situation.

"I do not burn the letter because I hide secrets, merely because I am a woman and my anger gets the better of me. It was a note from Cesare—we had gotten in a quarrel, you understand—and he had written a note asking for an apology. To be truthful to you, Holy Father, I was outraged that he would expect an apology from me when he had started the whole outburst to begin with."

I looked in his eyes to see if he was convinced of my story, thinking that a Pope could not know the secrets of lying, but I was surprised to see that he knew I lied. Before he could declare my "compliance with the devil" Cesare himself came walking into the dining room.

"Father," he said coolly, and then looking to me, "Louise, come with me."

"If you will excuse us," I said to Rodrigo and quickly following Cesare, mentally thanking him for rescuing me from his father.

I followed him back into his study and sat on a seat, patiently waiting to know why he asked me to join him again in the room. I was anxious and realized I would rather have been with Rodrigo. Did he know about the letter too and rather than let the pope have his fun by torturing me with words, he could do it with his bare hands?

I held my breath as he opened his mouth to speak.

"I must leave tomorrow night to oversee my army. I will not be back for a fortnight."

"Very well," I replied with relief, "Did you want me to cancel your meeting with Micheletto on Saturday?"

"No, he is coming with me…" he said, not finishing his sentence.

"Oh?" I replied, trying to push him to continue.

He came to me and kneeled by my seat, looking more anxious than I did.

"Do you love me, Louise?" he asked abruptly.

"Yes I do. Cesare, what is the meaning of this?"

"I fear you do not. I will be back in two weeks time and you will not be here."

"Of course I will. You speak nonsense."

"I do not. Louise, you are the only person I treasure anymore. Promise me you will be here when I return and my family and your heart will not persuade you to leave."

I remembered the letter at that moment; _you play with Cesare's head but not his heart…_

"I promise," I lied.

He partially smiled, kissed me and walked back to his desk.

The rest of the night was spent speaking of the details for his trip. I listened dully, only excited for his departure. I only thought of how to avoid Rodrigo and Lucrezia while Cesare was gone; and the letter that was now mere ash. His leaving would give me an excuse to find Ezio Auditore and study the precious golden sphere Cesare adored so much.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up the next morning, Cesare's side of the bed was made. A pang of sadness hit my heart and I fully understood that I would not see him for two whole weeks. Without Cesare, I was just a poor nurse who betrayed her lady—I was just Louise. I could be mistaken for a servant in the Castel Sant'Angelo if Cesare was not by my side and I did not wear the expensive dresses he bought for me. He was so important in the entire city that mentioning his name would spread fear in the eyes of the citizens—everyone feared or despised Cesare, but I had no emotion but affection for the cruel hearted man.

My affection was not very strong, however. Love would have caused me to love the people he loved, eat the things he ate, worship the things he worshipped, and hate those whom he despised; but I did not love the very few people he claimed to care about, the foods he ate were too marvelous for a poor-born woman like myself to eat without feeling greedy, the fame and power he worshipped was nothing I cared for, and the one man whom he hated the most—I admired and found him intriguing.

I decided that I would go to the Rosa in Fiore and find that man there. Set on the goal I put for myself, I changed my clothes and asked the servant to give me a simple piece of bread for my breakfast. For once, I was grateful for the big castle that was so wide, quiet and lonely; avoiding Rodrigo and Lucrezia would be simpler than I feared.

I did meet with someone, however, on my way out of the building: the man who Cesare _paid_ to study the golden sphere. He was tall, had light hair and he always seemed so cheerful.

"Good morning, Madonna," he smiled and bowed.

"Good day, Messere. Are you making a type of clothing?" I asked, gesturing at the rolls of fabrics in his arms.

"Oh no, I was bringing these to the seamstress, Donatella," he replied, rather quickly.

I smiled and said, "What a kind gesture. She must be grateful for a friend like yourself."

"Thank you. She helps me so it is a way to show my gratitude. Do you think," he paused, coming closer to me, "Do you think these fabrics are good? I do not know the complex tastes of women."

I felt the fabric and answered, "I dare say, she will love it."

He smiled and thanked me.

"You are welcome, Messere," I replied as I left him.

The sun was bright and hot when I got out, much too hot for walking, so I went on horseback towards the part of Roma where "sin is admired and hell is heaven", as Rodrigo once stated.

The stares of people walking by were common and I had learned to ignore them, while the keen eyes of the guards were not left ignored. I felt safe when they watched me, Cesare once threatened them that if I ever died in the streets of Roma he would kill a hundred guards at random for their inability to do their job. I tried to keep myself safe as well, for their sakes, but today I did not want to be watched. They would wonder why I would go into the Rosa in Fiore, alert Cesare, and cause something worse than I could ever dream of.

I was close now, I could see the building in the distance but I did not go any closer for risk of being caught. I sat on the horse and thought of a plan to distract the guards that were standing there. Only one idea came to mind as I looked at the horse, and as horrible as it was, I risked it and threw myself off.

I screamed in pain—and that was no act, for I truly was in pain. I felt as if I had dislocated my shoulder. The guards came running to me and I yelled, "There! That man, he threw me off my horse and stole my money!"

I pointed in the direction of the crowd that was staring at us and for the few seconds the guards turned their back on me I regretfully kicked my horse's hind legs. He jolted and lifted his front legs into the air, and then when he was back to the ground, he used his hind legs and kicked one guard.

I suppose horses drew fear into people's hearts because the onlookers began screaming as though they saw the devil. They panicked and ran into each other and the guards were toppled and tried to maintain control. I got up from the ground and ran to the Rosa in Fiore, ignoring the pain in my shoulder, while the guards were busy attacking the panicked horse and people.

I did not knock as I got to the door, I quickly opened it and let myself in, closing it just as quickly and leaning against the door with my back. I gasped for air and wondered how a ridiculous plan like that could have worked.

I looked around me and noticed that a woman in noble clothing was watching me with a smile. _She was quietly laughing at me_, I thought.

"Welcome to the Rosa in Fiore, may I help you?" she said as she approached me.

"I am looking for someone…" I said, moving away from the door and sitting on a sofa near by. I wondered how many courtesans sat on the sofa I was on, and the thought made me get up again.

She laughed. "You must be Madonna Louise—Cesare's…" she stopped, not knowing what word to use.

I did not know what word to use either, I felt embarrassed by saying mistress.

I did not have to reply, for only a few seconds later the door to the Rosa in Fiore open and Claudia could not contain her laughter any longer. I turned around and saw the man who laughed with her. It was _him_.


	4. Chapter 4

*(This is a longer chapter than my usual ones, so I apologize in advance if you dislike long chapters!)

It took a while to realize what they were laughing about. Apparently the only reason why the crowd went crazy after the horse stood on its hind legs was because one of the guards fell to the ground bleeding, with an arrow through his forehead. The arrow came from yours truly, Ezio Auditore. He saw the distress I was in and he came to my rescue.

I only remained conscious for a minute after they finished explaining the reason for their laughter. I remembered being carried up several stairs and being placed on a bed. I would have struggled to be placed on a bed in the Rosa in Fiore but the pain in my shoulder was so overpowering that refusal was out of the question and I regretfully passed out.

I did not know how long I was sleeping in that bed, but I felt as though the germs from the courtesans would crawl into my veins and kill me. At times I would wake up and be confused of my surroundings and when I figured it out in my brain I would pass out again. An irritating pain kept coming from the left side of my body and would wake me from my half dreams. Most of the time I dreamt of nothing but blackness, but when I did dream it was the same reoccurring dream of Cesare.

We were in a vast field and dead bodies were sprawled everywhere. Horses walked about idly with no master, flies hovered over the rotting corpses, and one tall woman with a sculpted body stood over the entire thing. She wore strange robes and her hair was long and untied, it floated as if she were submerged in water and although she was not greatly beautiful, Cesare could not keep his eyes off her. He was blindly walking towards her but never reached her, and I kept running after him, telling him to stop. He said he needed Eden. When I caught up to him I would grab his shoulder and beg him to stop walking, reminding him that it was I he loved, not _Eden_. The next part of my dream always startled me into tears, even though I knew it was going to happen every time. He quickly turned and faced towards me, and taking his dagger out, he would stab me in the chest. The most confusing part of it all was that he always said to me _"Goodbye, Ezio."_

One day I finally woke up from that dream and didn't pass out again. I stared at the wooden ceiling and wondered when I would fade into the darkness but it never came. I looked around and no one was in the small room so I pulled the covers off and sat on the edge of my bed. I couldn't find any slippers so I put my bare feet on the cold wood floor and pushed my body up. I do not know how, but I forgot how to keep my body upright. My legs shook and betrayed me and I fell to the ground with a thud. I assumed the pain in my shoulder would worsen but the only pain I felt was the mere one you would get if you ever fell. I wanted to get up but I couldn't so I lied there until I heard the door open.

"Oh Louise, are you all right?" asked a light voice.

"I fell," I explained.

The person came to me and lifted me back onto the bed. I looked and realized it was the same woman I met when I first ran into the Rosa in Fiore, the one who laughed along side Ezio—but how long ago was that? Surely I couldn't have been here for more than a few days, but it felt like it had been months…

"You shouldn't try and do that for a little while, you've been lying in bed for so long that you haven't the energy for walking. Slowly, in time, you will be better," she explained.

"She doesn't have time, Claudia," said a deep voice from near the window.

I looked and Ezio stood there, closing the window shut. Had he been there a minute ago? I was sure no one was in the room.

"What do you mean, Ezio?" she asked, confused.

"Cesare is back, she needs to return to the Castel Sant'Angelo," he answered.

"Were you always in the room?" I asked, looking at Ezio.

"But she can't walk, how is she going to get back?" asked Claudia.

Clearly my question was not important, for he ignored mine and swiftly answered Claudia's. "I'll get her walking. Go fetch the clothes she came with and get ready, we will leave tonight."

"Ezio…" began Claudia, but she stopped herself short and left the room.

He looked at the closed door and then looked at me, smiling from underneath the hood.

"Good morning, Madonna," he said, walking up to my bed.

I suddenly realized that I was in a room with Ezio. My months of searching and daydreaming, it all led to this final moment. I wanted to know so much about him, I wanted to know why he hated Cesare and what his motivation was, how he learned to do the things he did… I opened my mouth to speak my mind but he interrupted me.

"How is your shoulder?" he asked.

"It feels better, thank you," I replied, disappointingly.

"Do you know how your horse is?"

"My horse?"

"Yes, the one you kicked to distract the guards. Surely you thought of him this past week," he smirked.

"No… I forgot about him. I have been here for a week then?"

"Two weeks, Madonna—"

"Please, call me Louise," I interrupted. "Do you know Cesare is away? Then you must know that I cannot stay here when he returns."

"I do. He has returned yesterday."

"Then why did you keep me here?"

"Didn't you want to meet me? I just wanted to make your dying wish come true…"

I turned red, "It isn't my dying wish."

He laughed and said, "To be honest, Louise, I wished to meet you as well."

"Me?" I blurted, "But why?"

"This war is madness, and Cesare is cruel. He will stop at nothing to rule all of Italia and I must stop him. You are very close to Cesare but at the same time you are very distant, I hoped I could trust you…"

He leaned close, mere inches away from me. "Can I trust you, Louise?"

From this close, I could see his entire face. The hood hid the most beautiful part of his complexion—his eyes. They sparkled at me and they looked so pure and kind, surely he was hypnotizing me.

I lifted my hand and placed it on his shoulder and he placed his own hand on top of mine, but his shoulder was covered by armor and the touch reminded me of Cesare. I took my hand away and looked away, realizing the true meaning of his question.

"I cannot betray Cesare," I said.

"You already have, but if you do not want to help us, simply say so."

"Us?"

"The Assassins."

"That's what you are?"

"Yes."

"I have not betrayed Cesare," I answered.

"You came here, didn't you?"

He was right. I did betray Cesare. The thought of meeting Ezio Auditore was too hard to let go, and now he wished for my help. I never cared much about Cesare anyway; surely this would be for the greater cause. I was tired of the way Cesare treated me and although my reasons were mumbled together and petty, I felt better about accepting his offer than rejecting.

"You can trust me, Ezio," I finally replied.

"Thank you," he said as he got up.

He extended his hand out to me and I grabbed it. "What are we doing?" I asked.

"Teaching you to walk. You need to be at the Castel Sant'Angelo soon or there will be no point in our trust. You need to make Cesare believe you are completely devoted to him and have no secrets. Can you do that?"

"Yes," I said.

He took my arm in his and we walked out of the bedroom and onto a balcony filled with flowers that overlooked the water and the other side of Roma.

"You need to find more about his plans and report them to me weekly. You will give the letters to a man named Leonardo da Vinci. He works there and studies... something for Cesare. Leonardo will give your letters to me, and I will hand you my letters personally."

"Won't you get caught if you hand them personally?" I asked.

We were walking around the balcony and I focused on moving one foot and then the other.

He chuckled and said, "Don't worry about me. The rest of our discussions will be on paper, and if we are to meet I will write to you on the letter. Never leave the Vatican again unless I tell you otherwise. Do you understand me?"

I did not know why he demanded this, but I nodded anyway. He sighed in relief and we spent the rest of the time walking in circles until I remembered how to do it by myself. Claudia came out after a while and said it was time. Ezio nodded and told me to follow his sister. We walked back to a big room and Claudia gave me the dress I originally was in but it was torn and dirty.

"I don't remember my dress being in this condition?" I stated.

"It is part of the plan, Louise," she explained. "Ezio will walk straight past the guards with you in tow, and they will try and arrest him but he will escape, _forgetting_ to take you with him. Then those guards will get a nice raise for rescuing Cesare's lady from the thief who kidnapped her last week."

"So everyone thinks I have been kidnapped?" I asked.

"Yes. Play the part, you can just say that after you fell off your horse Ezio—or rather, the _theif_—killed the guards and took you hostage. He then made you a slave and did horrible things you dare not speak of and you cried and prayed that Cesare would find you, and surely enough; your prayers had been answered. Think you can remember that?"

"Won't Ezio be disgraced?" I questioned.

"Rumors will not hurt him, do not worry," she smiled.

That evening we parted ways. The plans had been described to the smallest detail; I thanked Claudia for her hospitality and bid the Rosa in Fiore _adieu_. I walked with tight ropes around my hands as Ezio led the way. It was getting dark and I wondered how much longer we were going to walk, for it felt like it had been hours. We finally heard guards run up and say "There she is!" I looked at Ezio and he said "Forgive me, Louise." I did not know what he meant until he took the end of his sword and tapped me on the head. It wasn't forceful, but it was too much for a weak soul who had been asleep in bed for two weeks so I collapsed to the ground. I was not unconscious, so I heard the swords clash and the screams and I felt the blood drip onto my face until it went silent. A few minutes later I heard and saw the blurry heads of three guards come up to me and pick me up and put me into a carriage. The steady rocking and the numbness in my forehead made it so much easier to fall asleep but I was sick of passing out. I did not want to lose consciousness and wake up in two weeks, so I tried to keep myself awake. I wanted to get out of the carriage—the rocking was too much, but hands pushed me back into my seat and told me to calm down. The rocking finally stopped and in its place was yelling—angry, vicious yelling. It was just the thing to keep me from passing out because I was so frightened. As the yelling got louder and closer I realized it was Cesare.

"Move! Move! Get her out of the carriage you idiots!"

I was taken out of the carriage and my head tilted back and I involuntarily looked at the night sky and the crescent moon. Cesare's firm hand pushed my head back to normal and I looked facing him. His complexion was darkened by the night but I was disappointed. He did not have beautiful brown eyes.

He lifted me up and carried me into my bedroom. Rather than call for a maid, he stripped me of my dirty clothes himself and dressed me in a clean nightgown. He put the blankets over me and he kneeled beside me, placing his hand on my bruised forehead.

"Cesare," I began, in a whisper.

"Sleep, Louise. Please, sleep," he whispered back.

"I cannot," I sighed, closing my eyes.

I resisted the urge to sleep but my eyes were so tired. The final trigger was Cesare's soothing voice, begging me to sleep. I did it for Ezio, because he told me to seem devoted, so like the "devoted" lady of Cesare Borgia, I obeyed him and slept.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up hearing the sound of Lucrezia's loud and expensive shoes stepping on the marble floors. They echoed through the massive hallways and into my bedroom. I looked around and the sun that beamed through the window made me guess that it was probably mid afternoon. I slowly got out of the bed and dressed myself, the sound of Lucrezia's shoes growing louder and louder. Only seconds after I was dressed and ready, she knocked on my door and let herself in. She smelt of strong perfume and she wore her favorite red dress that could have easily been mistaken as a courtesan's attire if it were not for the high quality fabrics and lace, and the person who wore them.

"Ah, the Lady of the Castel Sant'Angelo has woken up, ready to grace us with her presence," she said as she leaned against the marble wall.

"Good afternoon, Lucrezia. How are you?" I asked, ignoring her harsh comment.

"I suppose I am as miserable as a beggar, but what does it matter? Everyone here only cares to know how you are doing."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lucrezia. If you wish to speak about your feelings, I will gladly be your confidant."

"I'd rather go to hell," she snapped.

I approached her and said, "I apologize, I only wished to be kind to you."

"Save your charity for Cesare. He is the only one who finds your kindness amusing. Neither my father or I have any care for your hospitality."

"But Lucrezia, you must admit that you do treat me harshly? The Pope is much more polite in his manner."

"I treat you harshly for good reasons! And I shall continue to treat you harshly because you have ruined my life and stole the only person I have in this cursed castle!"

She turned from me and left the room. I stood there and after a moment I decided to follow her.

"Lucrezia! Wait! Please- I didn't finish my sentence because I fell.

You might find it hard to believe, but I fell down a small flight of stairs that I forgot were there. I lied on the cold floor and wondered if I had broken my body until I saw a familiar face look down at me.

"Are you alright, Madonna?"

"I don't know..." I replied.

He laughed quietly and said, "My name is Leonardo. I think you have heard of me..."

"Yes, I have! Oh it is wonderful to know that you are Leonardo. I thought I'd be looking for you every where."

"Well, Louise, would you mind if I examined to see if you have broken anything?"

"Oh of course not, I don't feel any pain, though."

"Perhaps it has gone numb," he said as he gently helped me up and placed me to sit at the end of the stairs.

"Da Vinci!" yelled another familiar voice.

This voice was the most familiar of them all, the most ordinary, and the most vicious.

"Yes? How can I be of service?" asked Leonardo, jumping up straight at the sound of his voice.

"I'll cut your throat if you leave my weapons unattended one more time," he said, standing right beside us now.

"And what was the sound I heard just a few minutes ago?"

Leonardo's face turned red with fear and embarrassment, so I spoke on his behalf.

"I fell, Cesare. Leonardo just came out for a moment to see if I was alright."

"You fell? Where? You are going to kill yourself with all these mishaps."

"I fell down the stairs chasing after Lucrezia."

Cesare looked at Leonardo, who was still standing there red-faced.

"Get back to your studies, imbecile," he yelled.

"Yes, Cesare," he said and left.

Cesare looked back at me and held my chin with his hand, turning my head from left to right and examining it.

"Your skin has grown so fair. Perhaps being taken prisoner would do Lucrezia good as well..."

There was a suspicious air in his tone that shook my nerves.

"I suppose I shouldn't ask you about it. The doctor said the memories would make you insane; and what would I do with you if you were to grow mad?"

He let go of my chin and cupped my head with his hands and stared at me with his heartless black eyes.

"I think I trust you too much, Louise. I can't help it, though. Wasn't I right when I said you'd be gone within the two weeks that I left Roma? I came back and my heart sank; you were gone. I was foolish to be so happy and expect to see your loving face when I returned. Something changed in those two weeks. I can see it in your eyes. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it will reveal itself in time. Patience is a virtue, my love."

He dropped his hands and coughed. "Father has arranged a picnic for his family and friends, and we will be staying for three days. Everyone already left, Lucrezia and I stayed behind to wait for you. Pack your bags, we leave in an hour."

"Okay," I said quietly.

He kissed my hand and walked away, in the direction that Lucrezia had gone. My mind unwillingly thought that he might be going to kiss her hand as well, and in disgust, I shook the thoughts out of my head.

I sighed at the thought of being in a carriage with Lucrezia and Cesare at the same time. She would be quiet and dread every moment just as I will, and Cesare will be affectionate towards me to bother Lucrezia, which will make her even more silent and will make me the center of attention. The dreading thought went away as I glanced on my desk and found a letter, with the seal that looked like a curved A in red. I opened it and smiled like a school girl as I read the contents. _I hope you are feeling better, Louise. I apologize for hurting your head but I did what had to be done. Enjoy the picnic with Cesare, I will see you there. _ _Yours Truly, _ _Ezio Auditore_


	6. Chapter 6

As a child, I despised those who abandoned their loved ones. The thought of leaving someone who loves and cares for you made me passionate about the subject. My mother abandoned me on my seventeenth birthday after my father passed away, and I promised myself that I would never do what she did to me. I promised that I would never be the reason for tears, heartbreak and desolation. I had stayed true to my promise for almost fifteen years, but now I understand the need for abandonment. It hurts less to run away from your problems than to kill yourself and fix them. To fix the dying love between Cesare and I would cause me more pain than it would if I were to run away with Ezio. He would never run away with me, however, and so the only precious moments I could spend with him would be in the dark, in the silent peak of the night.

My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at the clock in front of me. It was almost midnight and Cesare was still working in the corner of the room, writing and scratching things out. I tried to remain calm as I paced around the villa room that Rodrigo had assigned to us. We had arrived three hours earlier and everyone was finishing up their games for the day. The carriage ride went as expected, a dull six-hours I will never get back. I should have been sleeping from such an exhausting trip, but my mind danced with the words in Ezio's note.

"Dearest, it's almost midnight. Don't you think you should sleep?" I asked.

He looked up from his papers and glared at me as if he didn't realize I had been awake, even though I was pacing around the room for half an hour.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I cannot sleep until I know you are here with me."

"Why the sudden interest in my sleeping patterns?"

"I feel strange in this house, I need the comfort of something familiar..." I said as I walked towards him.

He extended his hand out for mine and I gave him it. He maneuvered me around the desk and placed me on his lap. My attention quickly averted to the pages on his desk- they were of pictures and maps with red arrows and in some areas of the map circles had been drawn in an angry hand.

"My dear, how can I make this place feel more familiar to you?"

My heart stopped pounding, instead, I was almost certain I heard nothing. I only realized the mess I had caused myself and I did not know how to solve the problem. His voice, and the way his eyes sparkled at me in that hungry way only told me that I was soon to be the prey for his gruesome appetite.

I jumped out of his lap and my knee hit against his desk. I clumsily fell to the ground at his feet and cried in pain.

"Louise, are you alright? _Mio dio_, have you gone mad?"

He kneeled to help me up but I pushed him back. I got up and ran to the front door. Before I could grab the door handle I felt Cesare's hand on my shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you! You ask if I am all right but you do not care, you only wish to please yourself. I will not be taken advantage of any longer!"

"You speak nonsense, Louise. You and I both know who is being taken advantage of here; throughout this entire relationship it has been obvious. You live the life of luxury and the only pay you are required to give me is your love, which you do so doubtfully."

I stared at him and realized he was right. With no words of refusal, I did what seemed easiest at the moment: I left the room and shut the door behind me. My brisk walk turned into a quick paced walk, which turned into running. I held the front of my dress and ran through the dark halls that were only lit by the full moon outside. This villa was smaller and so it took less time to be out of the house and into the garden. I would have left the area entirely if it were not for the guards who stood beside the gates.

I walked slowly through the garden as I caught my breath. I waited for an hour in the garden and I gave up hope. I thought of apologies that would make my abrupt exit more understandable in Cesare's eyes, but every time I rehearsed an apology I could only imagine his black eyes piercing through my skin.

"What are you doing out here?" said a voice, which made me jump in fear.

I turned around and was greeted by the man in the white hood. He stood a few feet away from me and from the corner of his sleeve I couldn't help but notice a stain of freshly wet blood.

"Waiting for someone, but he never came," I answered with a smile.

"How rude of him, but I am sure he has a good explanation."

"I am quite sure he does, but I don't care about the explanation as of now."

"That's unfortunate, I was hoping I could get an explanation on why Cesare killed one of his own guards..." and with that, a smile formed on his face.

"It's a long story."

"I would love to hear of your story, perhaps we can go somewhere quiet and you can tell me all about Cesare and his plans."

I was slightly disappointed on hearing this, but nonetheless I agreed and he took me across the gates-which were no longer occupied by guards- and we spoke until dawn. After I told him of the maps, of my quarrel and of my time spent in the garden I began to yawn and feel tired. I rested my head on his shoulder and he took my hand until I could no longer focus on reality, and fell into a happy sleep, but somewhere deep down, Cesare's stern yet upset face circled in my heads and in my dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for not posting a new chapter sooner, Assassin's Creed 3 recently came out and I have been preoccupied with it. PS, Haytham is so attractive I just might make a story about his sexual buttocks one day (not literally). Anyway, I have been reading your reviews and hopefully this chapter is approvable for all of you! I aim to please :)

I awoke happily until I looked from the corner of my eye and saw the desk Cesare had sat in the night before. I jumped out of my bed as if I had had a nightmare. I was in the clothes I wore last night and no one was in the room. The only sounds were from the birds singing outside and the guards giving each other orders to feel more superior than their comrades. I was utterly confused; I searched the room like a thief and tried to find a letter or anything to explain why I was sleeping in my bed. Had I dreamt of the entire thing?

I jolted as the doorknob to the room suddenly rotated and my heart pounded in my chest as I watched Cesare open the door and quietly enter.

He had not seen me but when he did he stopped in his tracks. "Ah, you're awake," he said as he continued to walk to the desk to pick up envelopes.

I was disappointed. I thought he was going to grab his dagger and try to cut out my heart. It would only help me in having an excuse to leave him and ask _him_ for protection from Cesare.

"How did I…" I coughed to clear my voice, but Cesare raised his hand and did not let me finish.

He dropped the envelopes he was looking at and paced towards me. I was terrified of his eyes, the eyes that could stare at me with passion and love, and at the same time could stare at me with anger and hatred; I wished to look away but another part of me reassured myself that this would only win _his_ approval.

"The Assassin brought you here," he said and stopped walking, a mere foot away from me. It was far enough to explain that he did not want to be friendly and loving, and it was close enough to punish me.

My heart, my brain, and my nerves—they all told me to back away. He uttered a simple sentence, but I knew there was more to come. I did not even last a month as a spy to _him_ and Cesare found out. My strong posture broke and I raised my arms to hold on to his shoulders but his reflexes were so fast that he grabbed my wrists and squeezed them.

"Don't try to cherish me!" he barked, his grip grew stronger on my weak wrists.

"Let go!" I cried.

"Does it hurt, Louise?" he asked in a tone that I could not decipher.

I looked away so he could not see the tears of pain and defeat.

He clenched tighter and I thought of scratching him but as I looked down at my fingers, I realized that they were purple and numb. I could not move them and in my panicked attempt to free my hands I only made him angrier.

"These small hands, they are NEVER going to feel the touch of another man ever again! Or anything for that matter!" he yelled, squeezing to the point where I felt faint and fell to the ground. His hands still held onto my wrists and kept my body upward.

A feeling of pain came next; a feeling I can never explain for the thought of it was painful in itself. I thought I was going to die and there was nothing I could do. It took all my power to simply breathe in and out, so I could not scream for help. My last hope was trying to win Cesare's sympathy, something he barely had.

"Cesare…" I choked, "Please…"

This made him angrier. A little voice in my head told me to give up, to close my eyes and _sleep_. I had many experiences with closing my eyes and "sleeping" so I kept them open and stared at the small dagger hanging from Cesare's side. I imagined what I could do if I got the dagger and even then it would be hopeless—his armor was too strong for a small blade… but my flesh… my flesh was so fragile. I focused back to reality and Cesare was standing by the balcony. I was on my knees and I looked down to see my purple hands lying on my lap. I would not have believed they were still attached to my arms if it were not for my eyes that stared at them. I raised my arms and tried to move my hand but I couldn't. I tried to move my fingers and I couldn't. I moved my arms closer to each other and I could not feel my hands touching each other.

"What did you do to me?" I whispered.

"Pack your bags, Louise. We are leaving," he said.

"No," I said.

He looked at me in shock. "What?"

"I will go nowhere with you."

He walked to me so quickly that I did not have time to protect myself from his punch. I fell to the ground and I put my numb hand to my eye to ease the pain but it did not help.

"You go where I tell you to. Pack your bags, _porco_."

I stood up and looked at my hands. "Pray tell, Cesare, how do I pack my bags when my HANDS ARE NUMB?"

"Ask the Assassin for help. You seem to enjoy his company. Perhaps he can help you, after all, isn't he always here to aid you?" he snapped.

"You are sick."

"Sick by your disease!"

"Do not blame me for your insanity! You killed that guard in your anger last night, didn't you? You did this to my hands in your anger, and you kill innocent people in your pathetic need for power! Ezio's company is preferred to yours because he is not ill-tempered and a murderer!"

He snickered and said, "Murderer? He is just as much of a murderer as I am, Louise. Just admit it, you fancy yourself in love with him. His company is preferred because he _is_ Ezio and I am simply a past lover who gave you everything but the symbol of freedom and a white hood."

"He is everything you are not! He is kind and—

"Pathetic, Louise. Spare me the kind words that you claim to know. I do not care who you love and who you do not love, you were a stupid mistress to help pass the time—easily replaceable."

"You and I both know that if I were replaceable I would not be here in the first place. You would have killed me months ago."

"Do not think that I will defend you and tell you how perfect you were, because you were not. I will not say how wonderful you were, because you were not. The only thing you were was a misery and an agonizing torture to me," he snapped. "Now go make yourself useful and find a servant to pack your bags for you."

"If I brought you misery and torture, you brought it to me ten times as much! Do you think I enjoyed the neglect you gave me, and the spotlight you lit on me only when you wanted me? You are cruel and unkind. You have broken my heart thousands of times and claim that Ezio is just like you. But he is not; he heals the heart you have carelessly stabbed! You are right, Cesare, I do love him. I love him because he is not you, because he is an Assassin and he hates men like you—an interest we have in common."

I went to leave the room but the door was closed. I clumsily tried to open the door but my hands were like useless stubs hanging off my arms. My face turned red with anger and embarrassment and Cesare silently walked up to me and opened the door. I looked up at him and waited for him to say something. He remained silent so I just left without another word.

Instead of finding a servant like he commanded, I went to the garden. The sun shone down on the plants and I sat on a bench and stared at my hands and wondered how a crippled woman would live the rest of her life. After an hour I heard footsteps from behind me and assumed it was Cesare so I told him to leave me.

"It is not Cesare," said a high proud voice.

I stood up and it was Lucrezia.

"Oh I apologize, how can I help you, Lucrezia?"

"I was supposed to come help you, actually."

"How?"

"Cesare said you fell and hurt your hands and could not pack your bags. He wanted me to pack them for you."

"He should have asked a servant. I apologize for his disrespect to you; you do not need to pack my bags."

She sat down on the bench and ushered me to do the same. We sat together, our dresses touching, staring out past the flowers and hedges onto the vast green country land.

"I still wish to help you, in my own way," she looked at my hands. "Ten miles away is a small village. There is a small inn where thieves gather. Do not ask how I know, but I keep it to myself. I assume they would know how to get you back to Roma to see… Ezio. Since you cannot ride in our carriages and ask to be dropped off at the nearest Assassin's home, you will have to go another way. I have a horse and wagon I can lend you. You will leave in ten minutes, I have your suitcase and the horse by the gates right now."

"Why are you helping me?" I asked in confusion.

She stood up and crossed her arms against her chest. "You are not the only one who wants to escape from Cesare."

I got off the bench and said, "I thought you loved Cesare?"

She laughed. "I play the role. If he knew I loved another man he would have them killed. It is better for everyone this way."

"But you pretended to hate me as a lie? How was that better for me?"

"Oh no I truly do hate you. I simply want to help you leave so it makes me feel as though a part of me can one day do the same. It is complicated. You would not understand."

"If it is not jealousy that causes your hate, why do you hate me? What have I ever done to deserve that?"

"For a woman who I thought had much sense, you have very little. It is jealousy that causes my hate, but not jealousy of you being Cesare's mistress."

"Then what?" I asked.

"Enough of your questions. Come; let us go before I change my mind."

I followed her through the garden and to the gate. The man who sat to drive the wagon wore a ragged cloak to cover himself. I cautiously sat in the back of the wagon as elegantly as possible for a woman sitting in a place where inanimate objects would usually be thrown.

"Thank you, Lucrezia."

The man ushered the horse to move and the wagon slowly began to exit the villa gates.

She remained silent and bit her tongue, and then blurted out, "I am jealous because you are poor and your beauty is nothing compared to mine, yet, the way he looks at you, the way he loved you was a manner in which I have never experienced from anyone. How someone can grow to love you so desperately and purely boggles my mind. I am jealous of that."

"Cesare?" I asked, the wagon almost passing the gates.

"Yes," she sadly replied. "Goodbye, Louise."

The gates then closed and she stood behind them and in her own way, attempted a small wave. I was grateful for the gesture and smiled. After her figure became smaller and smaller I sat in confusion and watched the villa do the same.

That day I left Cesare's side and the following week I was welcomed into the Rosa in Fiore by Claudia. It would be almost a year before I saw his face again, and it would be almost ten years before I would read an old note he never sent to me on the day I left him. It makes me cry to read it now, those simple ten words:

Pro_mise me he will treat you better than I did —Cesare _


	8. Chapter 8

We spoke in French.

"It is so nice to know someone who speaks the language of love in this dirty city," said the man, taking another sip of his wine.

"We are in Italy, after all. It is like expecting the British to speak Russian," I replied nonchalantly. My eye kept glancing out the window where the festive lights were sparkling and the people who laughed and danced around it.

The man looked at me weirdly, as if it were strange for a courtesan to make comparisons that made sense.

"You are too smart to be a whore, much less an Italian whore. What was wrong with France that made you come here?"

I caressed his cheek as I was taught those long months ago and replied, "Do not make this personal."

"I could help you. You do not need to be a whore if you do not want to," he said, moving his arms to grab my waist and I looked out the window and I saw the fat man I was told to watch for.

I moved back so he could not reach me and opened the door to the small apartment building.

"Who said I do not want to be a _whore_?" I said, holding onto the doorknob with my weak hand. "I must go."

"I did not pay you yet," he said.

"No need; enjoy the rest of your night, sir."

I closed the door as I left and I looked around for the other girls. The festive party was out of hand and I feared to be alone at sunset with the wild men and women who screamed and revealed so much skin. I finally saw the other three waiting in the corner near a small table and approached them.

"Louise, where have you been?" said Carla, one of the courtesans I had grown to become attached to. She was taller than the other ones but she had a pretty smile and beautiful blonde hair that reminded me of Lucrezia.

"This old man would not stop talking to me when he found out I spoke French," I said as I scanned the crowds. "Where is he?"

"We do not know, but we saw Juan Borgia walk by. I hope nothing happened…" answered Francesca. She was the shortest one but the men liked her the best, probably because she had such a way with words. She had two personalities, a confident one she showed her customers and a kind and shy one she showed only to her family—us.

The last one in our group was Bianca. She was always more rebellious than the rest, wishing to play a bigger part in the war. When she was with men she would rather speak of politics and battles but never got the chance, so she expressed her feelings with the only people who actually listened to her.

"There! There he is," whispered Carla, gesturing to a group of people. They were walking towards the entrance that led to the section of the party that was exclusively for important people and their guests.

"Go now, we must go now," I whispered, ushering the girls to start moving towards the guards and Juan Borgia.

Bianca went for the guard escorting Juan Borgia and Francesca went for Juan Borgia himself. Their flirtation distracted them while Carla and I went for the big wooden box and snuck through the dark alleys with it.

"Almost there," said Carla, panting, since she was holding most of the weight

We were out of the dark alley and in a secluded area behind an old building. A man on horseback waited for us and we gave him the box.

"It is a little heavy," I teased.

The man laughed and told us that he would take the wooden box to Machiavelli. We watched him ride out into the country and then let out a sigh of relief.

I did not know why Carla sighed, but I sighed at the thought of going back to the crazy party. She realized this, I suppose.

"What is wrong, Louise? Did that French man do anything to hurt you?"

"No, Carla. It is not that man," I replied.

"Is it Ezio?" she frowned.

It was not that French man or Ezio that made my stomach turn at the thought of going back. It was none other than he who hosted this party. It had been thirteen months since I left him in that villa and I thought I'd never see him again until Ezio told us that he had a task for us. He and the Assassins always talked about him but his name was so commonly spoken that it did not sting me as it used to. But knowing that after thirteen months of separation he was so close by, it scared me. What would he think of me if he saw me in the state I was in now? My hands never fully healed after he attacked me. Incapable of detailed things, I could not sew or draw or even write. My mind had been on it all day, and if I could only avoid his presence for the rest of the night I would be safe forever. If only.

"No Carla. Come, let's go—we have work to do," I said.

"Alright. Do you want to see the exclusive area? I heard it is the prettiest of all the areas. I'm sure we can find some men to take us in," she suggested.

She was right. We found two men who took us into the area that everyone wished to be in. Guards were everywhere, but the view was beautiful—that is, until Ezio appeared out of nowhere and killed Juan Borgia.

If I thought the Borgia's party was wild, it was doubly so after Juan Borgia was killed. Carla and I silently watched as our dates left us to fight against Ezio, and we watched as he ran up a column and disappeared into the darkness.

I looked at Carla and a smile had formed on her face—the same smile that had also formed on mine. I blushed and forced my face back into its somber look. I did not have to force it for long. I felt that someone's eyes were staring at me and I looked to see who's they belonged to. It was the black eyes of a man who loved nothing but power, it was the eyes of Cesare.

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. My eyes were so satisfied by his visage that they would not look away. "_Look away, look away, look away…_" my head kept repeating. It was pointless. I looked at the beard that had grown darker and the skin that had grown older and the posture that looked so misanthropic. He stared at me as well. Judging, most likely, the way I had turned: a whore. From where he stood he was better off without me, but I had stooped so low…

I also gained Rodrigo's attention. He watched me and I felt my skin burn as though it would light on fire and singe my flesh. He looked away and whispered something to Cesare and walked back inside the house. Cesare nodded and walked up to the guards and gave them instructions—instructions that made them run in the direction of Ezio.

"Lets go, Louise," said Carla, grabbing my arm.

We stopped in our tracks as Cesare approached us and blocked our path. Carla was clearly awestruck because her grip on my arm became tighter.

"Messere," she smiled with a subtle anxious tone.

"May I borrow your friend?" he asked.

Somewhat disappointed, Carla said, "Of course."

"Oh I shouldn't leave you alone," I said to Carla.

"No it is fine, I was going to find Bianca anyway. Go on," she said, unaware of the fact that she was leading me to the very man who tortured the heart she tried to help.

Cesare extended his arm out for me and I stared at it for a moment before doubtfully taking it. Carla smiled at me as she walked away and I forced a smile for her.

We walked in silence for almost half an hour before he took me inside the building Rodrigo had gone into earlier. The inside was somewhat like the Vatican, the curtains were a dark red that covered the windows to prevent any outside light from entering and the ground was a dark mahogany. The room we went into had brown seats with a small fireplace—the main source of light—at the side.

"This is not as extravagant as the Vatican. How do you bear to live in such a comfortable place?" I said.

He let go of my hand for the first time since he got hold of it and casually sat down on the sofa. "I suppose it isn't as suitable as the brothels, but it is satisfactory on the days you want to disappear."

I rubbed my bare arms and said, "What do you want from me?"

"Am I not allowed to ask how you are?" he said.

"No."

"You have ignored the morals of society and became a woman of the streets… yet you are stubborn as ever."

"Your brother just died. Why am I here?"

"Juan? He deserved to die…" he said, getting up and standing beside me. "Beside, I thought I could get your help. Betrayal is your strong suit, after all."

"I would never betray him," I said, understanding what he really meant.

"Why not? I gave you—I gave _him_ a year to sweep you off your feet and prove he loved you. Does he love you, Louise?"

The way he annunciated my name made my spine shiver. "I do not see how that has anything to do with you."

"What do you even see in him? He has tried to kill everyone in this family except for Lucrezia. I was once proud of you for your brave personality and the way you stood up for yourself, but you can't anymore because you try to stand up for that _imbecile_."

"I am leaving," I finally said, going for the door.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him.

"He did this to you, you know. You may spit on me and say I did this but we both know that is wrong," he whispered in my ear.

"Let go," I said, my heart pounding anxiously.

His face was so close to me that the only place I could look away from him would be to look at my shoulder, but that did not stop him from looking at my eyes and luring me back. The fire illuminated his face. The fire made the cruel eyes look desperate; the fire made the strong features look soft and kind; the fire made him seem trustworthy.

"I can't, not now."

Rather than argue with him, I obeyed my own demand. His words made him seem so small and weak, and when he embraced me and sighed I knew he was lying about not caring for his brother's death. I understood him again in those few hours we spent together. The defeat and anger he felt every time he heard his plans were being ruined, the dreams he had that were slowly fading away from his grasp, and the feelings he refused to show the world that he kept bottled deep inside. Whether it was his defeat and sorrow or my disappointment and confused feelings, I let him in. I opened myself to him and hoped that when I woke up at dawn he would still be there, but it was like a saying my mother had once told me: hope is for the hopeless.


	9. Chapter 9

Cesare named his daughter after me.

"Louise de Candia-Borgia d'Albret," I repeated the name he had just spoken a moment ago.

He was getting dressed and kept adding his armor and weapons on, and I just sat on the sofa beside the lifeless fire.

"She will be addressed as Louise Borgia when she is older," he said with pride.

_Louise Borgia_. The name I had once written in old notes and the name I dreamt of when I was wooed by Cesare was now a real living person- except it was not I who embodied the impossible name. A sensation ran through my body and I had felt this feeling many times before when Ezio was with other women: jealousy. I should have been honored that Cesare secretly chose my name for his daughter, but the only emotion I felt was envy. Envy for a child of two years who had the name I could never have had. I shook these thoughts away; why should I be jealous if I do not even care for Cesare anymore?

"It is almost noon. I have to go deal with Juan's rotting corpse; won't the Assassin worry that you have been gone so long?"

My mind was so filled with Louise Borgia that I did not even care to defend Ezio's name so Cesare took my silence as an opportunity.

He took my hand, placed my palm upward, and put some money in it.

I looked at it and then at him. "What is this?"

"For your _services_ last night. Do not think I haven't done this before. You get a bigger tip then the others would because I understand how difficult it must be for you to go from a Borgia's mistress to a common courtesan who crawls at a vigilante's feet," he said as he took a final look at himself in the mirror before he boldly held my face and kissed me.

"You have quite the nerve, Cesare," I finally replied.

"You have seen nothing yet, my dear," he said in answer as he left the building, leaving me in the dark to gather my things and walk back to the Rosa in Fiore. My walk was quieter than usual; most people were still in their homes. Everywhere I went was quiet, but the Rosa in Fiore was anything but quiet.

As I opened the door to go inside I saw girls running about trying to find Claudia, and she was in turn trying to find Ezio. Bianca spotted me and ran to grab my arm, gasping and panicking like the others.

"The Borgia took Carla! We don't know what to do, we fear they discovered our part in taking the money and they mean to kill her! Claudia cannot find Ezio or Machiavelli and time is running out, oh Louise they will not let me go after her!"

"Nonsense Bianca, you would die if you tried to save Carla. Pray, tell me, which of the Borgia men took her, do you know?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"The Captain General, Cesare," she answered.

"Do you know where he has taken her?"

"Yes, follow me, I will show you the way."

We sneaked out of the chaos in the brothel and ran through the alleys of Rome, some I had never even seen before. I did not know what Cesare planned, but his words from earlier that day only brought fear into my heart. Bianca and I were eventually in front of a building with a big clock tower, but guards surrounded the building.

"Move along, there is nothing to see here!" yelled one guard.

"I know Cesare Borgia is in there, let us through!" yelled Bianca in return.

The guards laughed and one came closer and grabbed Bianca's wrists- an image that made my soul bitter and cruel.

"Let her go!" I demanded, pushing the guard away from her.

"Why you little bitch..." he said, taking his sword out and pointing it at me.

What I did next was shameful and hurtful to my pride, but I had no other choice. I was defenseless against the monsters that Cesare had created and only he could control them, so I screamed for his help, hopeful that the open windows would echo my voice and he would save me.

He did. His head emerged from a window high above the building and he leaned out, looking as two guards held my arms while the other had his sword inches away from my throat.

"You _bastardi_, what do you think you are doing?" Cesare yelled.

They did not move as they looked up and gave Cesare their answer. "This girl was taunting us and she wanted to see you, and we know you don't like being disturbed."

"Let her go! Please, if the women wish to see me, invite them up to the clock tower. I will wait for them there," he answered, disappearing back and closing the window when he finished speaking.

"You two are going to get it now. Asking to speak with the Captain General is like asking to speak with the devil himself," said one guard as he escorted us up the small flight of stairs.

"Shut up, _stronzo_, he'll kill us all if he hears you say that," said another guard anxiously.

The stairs stopped and in the small rectangular room was a ladder that led to an opening in the ceiling. We were ushered to climb the ladder and when we were at the top we stood on the roof of the clock tower. The roof of the tower was bigger than the small room we were in, but we were so high up and the only protection from falling was a short fence that bordered the roof. The wind made my legs shake in fear, the thought of being blown off the roof made me cling to Bianca as we stood only a few feet away from Cesare and the rope-bound Carla, whose eye make-up was smudged from the tears she had shed.

"Louise…" she choked in between her quiet sobbing.

"Oh Carla!" I sighed. I tried to reach for her but Cesare blocked my path with his sword.

"Stay back, Louise," he snapped.

"Why are you doing this, Cesare?" I yelled, "Whatever angst you have against me, do not let it out on my friends, I beg of you!"

"Beg all you want," he said as he grabbed a brown sack to cover Carla's head. "There is only one way you can save your friends."

"Anything! I will come back to you, I will live for you and die for you, just please, let her go!" I cried.

He laughed and said, "I do not want you to come back. You have tortured me for so long, why would I bring you back to play at my heartstrings and live a lie? Oh no, my dear, it is my turn to torture you. The only way your friends will live is if the Assassin comes to save them himself."

"Ezio?" I asked.

"Ezio Auditore; shout his name out to the sky and ask him to come save your friends. If he loves you, like you believe he does, he will come before I even have the chance to lay a finger on them. He seems to be good at sabotaging all my other plans that have to do with his cause… but are _you_ one of the things he fights for, Louise?"

I was hesitant in my manner, and the way his eyes squinted told me that he knew this too. "He fights for the greater good, he fights for the freedom of those who have none. He would not let an innocent person die," I answered.

"So be it," was his final reply.

My heart pounded and my mind was racing and throughout the rushing moments, I just suddenly realized that he spoke of Carla in plural form. He did not say "your friend" but rather "your friends". I wondered whom else he had trapped and bound with ropes, until it hit me. I had unknowingly brought Bianca into a blood bath, and now my only hope was that Ezio did love me, and that he would come to save the innocent people he claimed he stood up for. My only hope was that I would hear that bizarre sound of an eagle and see him grab Carla before Cesare threw her off the roof, and stab him before he stabbed Bianca. In those precious seconds, I waited for him to come. I waited for him to open the window and lean out, telling the guards to let go of me.

I waited, but you can only be patient for so long before it is too late. As I stood in the blood that came from Bianca's throat and stared at Carla's small lifeless body on the ground, hundreds of feet below mine, I realized it was too late.


	10. Chapter 10

I would have done anything to feel real again. I was not surprised when I felt nothing when Cesare killed my dearest friend, and I felt even less—if possible—for the death of Bianca.

Yet, I loved Carla. In my earliest months at the _Rosa in Fiore_ she was the kindest and the most patient with me. She did not tease me when I unpacked my things and displayed the rich and thick fabrics that I had worn. She did not call me a rich _puttana _who had betrayed my family and was kicked out. She sat lovingly at my bedside the morning after I had first been hired—crying at the life I had gotten myself into. Carla did not know my past, she did not know where I came from and she never asked, knowing that in time I would tell her myself. All she knew was that I blushed and my face would turn red whenever Ezio was around. Her face did the same, but she had once shared a bed with Ezio, so her feelings were more profound than mine. I had realized after three months that our feelings for him would always remain unrequited. His sister, and the madam of the brothel, Claudia, had told us that he once loved a woman who married someone else, and she died loving Ezio. She told us his heart remained devoted to that woman and that she thought he would never love anyone ever again. Such words broke our hearts, but we stayed in love.

Some nights when we both had no employer, we would sit by the river near the brothel and dangle our feet in the moonlit water, sitting and laughing about nothing at all; but the mere fact that I had a friend for the first time in my life made me treasure those moments. I knew I could trust her with anything, and that I could say to her anything my heart was feeling, but at the same time, I feared she would despise me and think me the rich _puttana_ that everyone had called me in the beginning. I almost told her I was the mistress of the notorious Cesare Borgia, I almost told her that I conspired against him to help Ezio, and I almost told her the reason why I could not hold a pen or needle in my hands and make them functional. Her eyes would look and sparkle at me in the friendly and sisterly way they always did on those nights, and she would practically beg me with those eyes to speak the truth, but I couldn't. I knew she wanted to know, I knew the curiosity was killing her, but I cared about our friendship too much to risk hurting it and to risk bringing up the past I had tried so hard to forget. And so I remained silent, and now she her curiosity will never be satisfied.

"Well, well, the Assassin showed up," said Cesare, bringing me back to the reality that I was on top of a clock tower roof. "A little tardy, however."

"Cesare…" said Ezio in an angry and low voice, standing behind me.

"I was trying to prove a point, and I thank you for helping me make it. Now nothing would make my day better… except slicing your throat and add you to the pile," hissed Cesare.

"You make no point by killing two innocent people!" yelled Ezio.

"The deed is done, and I know you do not mean to kill me right now, so why are you here?"

Ezio grabbed my arm and brought me close, so close that I could see his face from underneath the hood.

"You cannot have Louise," he said.

I felt a spark of happiness, thinking that he truly did care for me. I smiled for a moment, thinking and wondering what I could have done to make him love again. This happiness faded quickly as logic and rationality came in. He wanted me safe and away from Cesare because I knew too much. My heart sank and filled with despair and anger. I looked at Cesare who also shared the same emotions on his face.

If I were the same woman who wore the pale blue dress I would have run to his side. I would not have cared if he never loved me, for he would feign the love I required and it would have been enough; but I am not the same person. His anger is not enough to make up for his fake devotion. I would rather be with Ezio and know he does not he love me and show no misleading signs, than to be with Cesare and know he does not love me but pretend he does.

All he does is not a declaration of his love for me, I told myself, but a declaration of his blood thirsty and cruel nature. He wanted me to suffer, as he wanted his past mistresses to suffer, like poor Lucrezia. Those haunting words that burned in a fire from a letter Ezio had written more than a year ago still lingered in my mind; _you play with Cesare's head but not his heart. Do not be fooled and think he loves you; he cares for no one but himself._ He did his part- he made me suffer.

"Do you think she will let you take her, after you let me kill her friends?" he retorted.

I tugged my arm away from Ezio's grasp and said, "You are both at fault. Cesare for killing them, and you…" I looked into Ezio's beautiful brown eyes, "You for not coming."

Whatever reason or excuse he had for not being here to save their innocent souls, I will never know. He stayed quiet, but the next thing he did was pick me up without my consent and carry me to the edge of the building. I looked down with fear and wondered: was he going to drop me?

"Ezio, wait what are you—

The air suffocating into my mouth and nose cut off my sentence. I was falling and I looked up at Ezio as he stepped away from the edge until I could no longer see him. I did not know why he dropped me and I only wished that I had one final moment with Cesare to apologize. It was then, during my fall from the high clock tower, that I was content with dying but the only thing that made me wish to live longer was… Cesare. My heart tightened as I imagined him living without me—with another woman; one prettier, smarter, and kinder than I. I imagined him telling his father and sister that he finally found a woman he loved. One he could openly admit to loving. He would hold her hand and tell her the stories I always yearned to hear about his past. He would forget his ambitions of ruling all of Italia and he would forget the golden sphere. He would resign from the Templar Order and would live a peaceful and quiet life with that woman until his wife died, and he could marry her. He would not name his children after me, he would not hurt that woman and he would always tell her how much he cared. He would say that horrid word that he now despises. The words he never wishes to speak aloud, not to his father or sister, or to me in reply when I said it to him. He would tell that woman he _loved_ her, and all his past mistresses, all his past lovers, their hearts would break as he would say those words. My heart as well, my heart would break and I realized with sadness that I still loved Cesare. I had tried to hide it for so long and push it back, pretending I did not care, but I always did love Cesare. I loved him more than I loved myself, or Ezio. Cesare was the one my heart thought of in my dying moments and I wished I had realized this before ruining my life and spending a torturous year without him. I closed my tear-soaked eyes and accepted the death I would face, and that my only happiness in dying was that I would soon be with Carla.

This is not the end, dear reader. I had more to endure before I could actually die uneasily in the earth.


	11. Chapter 11

I felt stupid right after it had happened. I realized that I was in a haystack and that Ezio had somehow emerged right beside me.

"What were you thinking?" I cried.

He did not reply as he lifted me from the haystack and carried me towards a horse. I looked at the roof of the clock tower and Cesare stood there watching me. The feeling inside me grew stronger and my insides began to burn. I put my hand on Ezio's chest plate and I truly understood that he would never love me.

"Ezio, please put me down," I quietly said.

"Not until you're away from him," he replied.

Like a child who did not know that flailing their arms and resisting would lead them to fall to the ground, I did the same. Ezio let me go and sighed. I wanted to be on the ground—as he already knew—so I could run to Cesare, who waited patiently on the roof.

"I am trying to save you. Isn't that what you wanted?" asked Ezio.

"I wanted you to save Carla and Bianca. Why didn't you?"

His jaw twitched in anger and he said, "If you go to Cesare, he will _kill_ you."

"You are wrong. He will let me live, he will save my soul," I blurted out.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that Cesare was now at the door of the clock tower, beside the bodies of the dead guards that Ezio must have killed earlier. He was only a ten second run away from me.

"He will save nothing but himself. He is a tyrant, Louise, and in destroying the world, he will destroy you as well," argued Ezio.

I looked away from Cesare and back to Ezio, and daringly said, "I love him."

What happened next was a dream inside a dream. Ezio did not know how to respond, so he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me lovingly. When I pulled away, I looked into his eyes and saw… nothing. Once upon a time, this would have been the moment I would have longed for. I would hold him close and obey him, and when we were back at the Rosa in Fiore he would leave me hanging. He still loved that girl who died a long time ago; there was nothing I could ever wear, say or do to make it otherwise, but this did not break my heart. My attention was still on Cesare.

"I'm sorry," I simply replied as I backed away slowly.

"As am I," he said as he leaned towards me.

I did not understand what he meant by this, until I felt that my stomach was wet. I put my hand to where my corset was and when I lifted my hand, it was painted a bright red. I looked at him in horror and shock, but all he did was walk past me and onto his horse. He gave Cesare one last glance before turning his horse away and riding into the crowd ahead.

I looked at Cesare with pleading eyes, the eyes that begged him to forgive me for kissing Ezio; the eyes that begged him to help me, even though he couldn't see the blood from that far away. I felt weak and dropped to my knees, my dress cushioning my fall.

The sun was setting and the oranges of the sky were the only things I could look at to make the numbing pain less obvious. Cesare ran toward me and held me in his arms, only realizing now that Ezio had stabbed me with his hidden blade.

"That _stronzo de merda_," he barked, cradling me in his arms. "I should have killed him on that tower."

My pain was battling with the happiness I felt to be near Cesare, and to see him so passionate about this.

"Cesare," I whispered as I tried to form a smile.

"Louise, you are a goddamn idiot," he said as he got up and carried me into his arms, the same way Ezio did, but he was more pleasing to my eye.

"I need to tell you something," I said.

"Not now, you are dying, I need— Guards! Get over here, bring that carriage!"

Five or six guards came running toward Cesare as he walked through the streets of Rome, scaring the civilians and making them move back with fear. I looked at one small girl who hid behind his mother's dress, and our eyes locked for a brief moment. I smiled at her because she reminded me of myself when I was young—so scared and shy of the world, but my smile must have scared her more because she hid her face in the dress and did not look back.

A carriage somehow emerged while I was paying attention the little girl, and Cesare carried me inside, still holding me like a child. He barked at the guard to drive as quickly as he could to somewhere, but I did not hear him well. I felt the pain I always felt when my clumsiness took over: fatigue. I did not want to sleep for fear of losing Cesare, and for losing myself.

"Stay awake, Louise," said Cesare, as if he had read my mind.

"I need to tell you something now," I said tiredly, knowing that I may not get the chance to say it ever again.

"No, don't tire yourself. Just stay awake—just look at me," he said.

"That's the thing, though," I slowly replied, "Looking at you makes me cry."

"But why?"

I felt tears form in my eyes, whether it was from pain or happiness, I could not tell.

"Because I am never going to see it again," I quietly sobbed.

He put his hand on my head and gently stroked it as he said, "You will live, Louise. I will not let the Assassin win, not this time."

I raised my hand and touched Cesare's face, unaware that it was the hand that had blood on it, until it left a mark on his cheek.

"Do you remember the time you wanted me to sleep? After Ezio had hit me on the head that one year?"

"Yes, vaguely."

"It's quite fascinating... Now, it is opposite because you do not want me to sleep..."

"I find the fascinating part being that both times it was the Assassin who had hurt you, yet you still love him."

"He does not love me."

"He had to stab you for you to realize this?"

The carriage stopped but Cesare did not get out.

"We must pick something up," he answered, reading my unspoken question from my face.

We sat in the quiet carriage for a while, and I held tightly onto Cesare's hand to help endure the pain. When the carriage began to move again, Cesare snapped at them for taking so long, and I heard one say, "It was harder to find than you said it was".

My eyes burned and I did not even care to ask what they were retrieving. All I wanted was to sleep, but Cesare knew this.

"Louise, stay awake, only for a while longer," he said, but his voice seemed so far away.

"I can't, Cesare, I really can't," I replied, and I heard my voice echo through the small carriage.

He squeezed my hand and said, "Don't be weak, it is nothing but a mere wound..."

He was lying, and we both knew it. Death and unconsciousness were right around the corner, creeping their way closer and closer to me, so I knew I only had a few more minutes, and I needed to tell Cesare.

"I love you, darling," I sighed.

The carriage stopped once more and Cesare carried me through tall hallways and into a room with a big bed. My eyes began to roll back but I could hear voices and I saw a golden light shine and flash, and a sound so peculiar I have never heard anything like it. Every time the strike of light came, the sound came with it, and with every flash of gold, I felt the pain in my stomach lessen and lessen. When the lights and sounds stopped, the room became quiet. I felt Cesare lie down beside me on the bed, and right before I fell asleep, I swear I heard him whisper in my ear, "I love you, too."


	12. Chapter 12

The Apple of Eden did mysterious things, and one of them was saving my life. Although now I wish I could have died then, and finally be at peace, instead of sitting here, by the tombstone that has Cesare's name engraved in it, but his body does not lie in the earth below.

They took me away from the Vatican and into the countryside of Rome. After lying, practically dead, in a bed for eleven months I was able to walk on my own feet with the help of nurses. The Apple gave me my life, in exchange for the health and sanity of my body. I had forgotten what it felt like to not have your head pounding constantly and I had forgotten what it was like to function properly. Cesare was gone at the time I began to walk again, but one afternoon while I was out on the veranda, slowly walking around the gardens, I heard a voice and the sound of the reins of a horse.

"Louise, is that you?" he shouted, clearly shocked at seeing me standing upright.

He jumped off his horse and ran from the gates towards me, and my heart fluttered at seeing him. I did not have a real look at his face for almost a year, and he had aged heavily. His beard was not any longer, but it was thicker, and his hair was longer. The bags under his eyes were darker, and he looked… deprived.

The nurse had told me to not make any sudden movements, so against my desires; I stood still and opened my arms to Cesare.

"Darling, I've missed you so much," I sighed.

He held me tightly and said, "I thought it was a ghost, but it's you. You are really here, aren't you?"

"I cannot walk properly or I would have ran to you, dear Cesare," I said, holding his thinned face in my weak hands.

He then picked me off my feet and carried me easily around the garden.

"You never need to walk again, I will carry you anywhere that you wish to go," he said.

I had wondered if waiting so long had made him impatient, and I wondered if he had abandoned the love he had for me. What if he had a new lover at the Vatican waiting for him, and he just came to bid me farewell, in the heart wrenching way that I did to him?

He noticed the sadness in my face and said, "Have you changed your mind about me again, Louise?"

"Heavens no," I gasped. "I fear you have changed your mind about me. I know you could never have waited patiently for me for a year."

He stopped and placed me down on the same bench where I had decided to leave him those years ago. He sat down beside me and after a moment of silence, he spoke.

"What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderfully sickening feeling? I thought you would die. The Apple saved your life, but you were absolutely insane. I waited, but I cracked after the fourth month. I admit, only because I wish that you know nothing but the truth, that I had several women join me in my bed while you were sick, but I never cared about them. You must understand that I have needs, Louise, and I cannot let my heart and my body break at the same time. There was no way to fix the heartbreak, so at least I thought I could spare the liberties of women. You were the only one I thought about, in bed or in battle, and I loved you for all your horribly irritating traits. I loved you even when I couldn't say it. I wished to hear you say I love you, because I knew that my love was unconditional but yours was changing. I loved you when you lied to me about where you left in the evenings, I loved you when you abandoned me for two weeks to learn how to become a traitor, and I loved you even when you defied me and ran away with the Assassins. And when he stabbed you and we were in the carriage and you sighed, in a deathly whisper, that you loved me too, I wanted to take all the pain you felt and place it upon myself instead. Louise, my sweet lamb, I cannot begin to fathom how much emotion you have stirred in this cruel man."

I remembered every single word he spoke to me, and I recite it now, even when I know he will never speak another word to me again.

(Sorry for posting chapters so late! This is a little chapter before the FINAL chapter I post! That will posted by the end of May, at the latest, and I thank you for being committed to my unprofessional and small short story)


	13. Chapter 13

Everything was failing me. My goals, my plans, they were not at all the way I had imagined them to be. I heard the explosions from the canons every ten seconds, and every ten seconds the ground at my feet would shake. I was losing my balance and with my sword gripped in my hand, I barely knew why I continued on. I would heartlessly and apathetically slice through my enemies with my blade- their throats, their stomachs, or their chest- whatever part of their body that was conveniently undefended. I kept running through the shaking battlefield, and the orange sunset blended with the blood of the dying soldiers.

I was not fighting for power anymore. I was not fighting for Italia anymore. I only fought for my life, the life that one woman cherished the most. I fought so that Louise's heart would not break at hearing of my death. Even the slightest thought of picturing her grieving in black, or kicked out on the streets and in the clothes of a courtesan made me weak.

My army was falling apart in Vienna. The last remains of my young childish dreams were falling apart in Vienna. My power and strength was failing me and the Assassin—who I loathed more and more each day, was taking all of my failure and turning it into success for himself.

When I was on the tower that Ezio found me on, a part of me realized that he was born solely to destroy _everything_ I ever cared about. This hatred raised and I was determined to kill him once and for all…

But alas, my life was a stack of failures, piled on top of one another.

I could not defeat him and in his pride, he pushed me off the tower.

My life slowed down, the way that my Father told me happens before you die, and I saw Louise.

Only a month ago, when I had escaped prison, I went to go visit her. She had become so weak and skinny, but her protruding stomach had become larger. She was forcing a smile on her face—she would not let me see her cry.

"How did you escape?" she had asked as she placed her hand on my cheek, as if she were afraid I was a ghost.

I held her close and told her not to worry herself over silly trifles. In reality, it was torturous but I did not want to worry her.

"Louise, I must leave again, but I will return to you as soon as I am finished. We will leave together and go back to France. Don't you long for your home land?"

She shut her eyes and said, "No, I hated it there—but I hate it here too. I hate everywhere that you are not."

"Patience, my sweet lamb, it will soon be over," I had said, trying to reassure her. "We have two precious nights together until I leave, and then three horrid months until I return once more, at my knees for you."

The way her face radiated when I said that to her was the face that I saw when I fell from the tower. I raised my hand to try and touch her smile but it was too far. It was out of my reach, and I cried in hatred at the miserable world I had lived in before Louise.

I felt my body shake everywhere in pain and I knew I had reached the ground, but the tingling pain faded away and my gaze at the orange sunset turned dark until I could see nothing anymore.

"I failed again," I gasped, unsure whether anyone could hear me.

But someone did hear me, for I heard Louise answer: "Don't worry, dearest, I am sure next time will be better…"

But there was no _next time_. The only problem I had with dying was that I would never see Louise again, and that I was going to be the cause of her heartbreak, and the only reassurance I had was that the little baby Louise was pregnant with, would give her hope and reason to live.

All my failures amounted to nothing, and all my goals were meaningless, but the love that Louise felt for me and the little human that I had made with her were the only two things that made my life bearable. If I could take it all back, I would. I would apologize to my Father, I would apologize to Lucrezia, I would apologize to the woman I married and neglected, and I would apologize to Louise—for letting her love a man who did not realize that the best things in life were love and family.

There was a time when power and vengeance boiled through my veins and haunted my dreams. Money and women were all I wanted, but all I needed was her. All I needed was her love—an emotion I took for granted. Loving someone is completely bittersweet: it breaks your heart while it nurtures it. How I long to hold Louise one more time and tell her everything will be all right. If I could do anything I would tell her to move on and live to the best of her ability. I would tell her to never cry for me because it would only break my heart to know she was unhappy.

I can never tell her these things, and she will never understand how much regret stirs in my dying heart during my final moments. No letters, no goodbyes, just an empty space where our farewells should have been. They will never be there.

After Cesare's death, Louise spent two years with Lucrezia in her villa with the Duke of Ferrara, as her maid. Louise was never the same after his death and her only source happiness was her baby. Her child, however, was taken from her one night as it was mistaken for the child of the Duke's to be held for as ransom. He did not pay for the ransom and Louise never saw her child again. Afterwards, she had hot flashes and was driven to insanity. She tried murdering the Duke in his sleep and was arrested, only to escape and never be found.

Her beauty had died and everything in her life died along with it. She had nothing and no one to live for, so it did not surprise her when she contemplated suicide.

Louise held onto her own arms and stood on a wooden bridge in the middle of the country. Below was a rapid river flowing down stream. She did not know how to swim and neither did many of the men who Cesare had once thrown to their deaths on the very same bridge. She had watched him put a cloth over their heads and tie it tightly, she had watched him make jokes and push them over and she had watched them fall into the river and struggle like a fish on land, before becoming eerily still and letting the river take them away into the darkness. This too was her own her fate, and deep in her mind, she closed her eyes and imagined that Cesare was the one who was pushing her—pulling her into the river. The water was refreshing on her burning body and the constriction and pain she felt only lasted for a while before she felt nothing but cold arms embracing her, pulling her deeper and deeper within, kissing her soft skin and telling her that he had missed her so very much. And then there was nothing.


End file.
